Well January has managed to just fly past.

Ron, Rieley and I celebrated the new year in. I got Rieley to have a sleep that day so he was able to stay up. It was quiet but really nice and it's fantastic that we are at the beginning of sharing these things with the kids. We did a practice run with sparklers and poppers for Kellie early in the evening and then we got them out again for Rieley at midnight.

We then had friends stay for a couple of days around the 8th of January. Harry, Kari, Dexter and Rohan. They were on their way up to Darwin where Kari has been transferred with the army. It's been ages since we have seen them - Townsville, June 2007. Last time we saw Dexter he was still a bub and Rohan hadn't been conceived at this stage.

A week later it was my 45th birthday. Went out for dinner on the Saturday night (16th) and while Kellie was in a bit of a 'mood', we had a lovely night out. Ron had to work on the Sunday, so Rieley and I made a chocolate cake and I cooked a nice dinner BUT I did make Ron clean up the dishes and look after me for the remainder of the evening.

Just before our guests arrived, Ron broke a tooth or rather it just fell out one day at work. He had it taken out the next week. Around my birthday I started getting a tooth ache, the next week I had two wisdom teeth out. I went out in sympathy with Ron. Yep the dentist here has done really well out of the Cameron clan this month. Recovery pretty good for both of us. I remember the dentist said that in a couple of weeks, I would be thankful that I had it removed - honestly I didn't have to wait a couple of weeks, the toothache was much worse.

Two days after that, I got hit with a virus. OMG I haven't felt that bad for a long time. Give me a tooth or two out any time. I woke around 3:30 or 4 am and I just hurt all over, it hurt to move my fingers, the soles of my feet hurt, I had to get Ron to help me to the toilet - my muscles, bones and skin just hurt. I had a fever and chills. Fortunately I don't get sick very often and I mend quickly so day and a half later and I was feeling lots better. Kellie had a temperature for a day but didn't seem to be bothered too much. Day after I got over it, Ron came down with it.

The rest of the month has not consisted of much. The kids and I haven't left the house for a week or so as it has gotten hot again. Soon it will be February and we will only have 11 months left of 2010.

Christmas

What a fantastic Christmas we had. It was a Christmas that my dreams for many years have been made of. It was probably my favourite Christmas ever.

Rieley was so VERY excited when he woke up on Christmas morn at 6:45 am. Thankfully Kellie woke up at the same time.

On Christmas Eve, we had a very nice dinner, then we put out stockings, the Santa sack (where Santa puts one present for each child unwrapped), cookies, a carrot, water and a beer. We stood at Rieley's window for quite a while trying to spy Santa's sleigh but no luck, maybe next year. ;)

The kids opened the Santa sack and tipped out their stocking, then we had breakfast and a much needed cup of coffee for Mum and Dad. :) Our breakfast was 'ham and smoked cheese croissants' which were so yummy, we've had them for the last 3 Christmas breakfasts now. We then went and opened the rest of the presents. It was so much fun and took a lot of time, which was even better. Each toy or book or whatever had to be examined and exclaimed over (by Rieley). We had to help Kellie open some presents which she wasn't terribly interested in, she just wanted to play with what Rieley opened. lol We decided that we would only tag those presents that were specifically for one child and the rest were for whichever child got it first. Our policy in this house is that all toys are to be played with by both of them, they have a couple of special items but I've found neither are territorial. So that is why we didn't tag the majority of the presents.

Rieley was so excited he was shaking like crazy and just so happy and 'loved' everything and everything was 'this is the best xxx that I've ever seen'. lol

Ron and I napped a bit in the lounge room while the kids played with their toys around us. We then made a 'decadent chocolate mousse' during the morning and a couple of salads. Lunch was cold meat and salad and it was delicious. I just bought 5 x 250 g of ham and turkey from the deli. Tiger prawns and leftovers for dinner plus the Mousse in brandy boats for desert and OMG it is totally delicious. First time I have ever cooked a chocolate mousse.

I got a wii game (Super Mario) for Ron and we played that for a short while in the afternoon and later when the kids were tucked in bed - too funny. It's two player, simultaneously and a bit like watching Laurel and Hardy. PMSL

I asked for a push bike and a trailer for my Christmas and birthday present. I went and got the bike the other day but I'll get the trailer in a month or so.

We have had a lovely, relaxing three days. Ron is back at work tomorrow morning and won't have a day off until about 8 January as we have some friends staying for a couple of days, so Ron is taking some leave for that.

Only blot on an otherwise perfect few days have been my headaches, I get them daily (I've always got a headache, it's just how bad that varies) anyway but they seem to be getting worse when I'm ovulating and when I get my period. Of course I'm ovulating. I'm also taking some tablets right now that seem to be giving me a different headache also. I think it's my weak area of my body, so my head is affected very easily. I'm just so sick and tired of having a headache all the time and it seems worse when it is a special time of year - I cried to Ron this morning (which doesn't happen very often). He thinks we should nudge the Ophthalmologist and see what is going on with what he wants to do with my nystagmus surgery which might help with some of these headaches.

Well ... 8 (now 5 - oops I've had this open for 3 days) big sleeps until Santa comes to town. So very exciting for an almost 4 year old. I'm revving him up as best I can too. :D Love it.

When we ask Rieley what he wants for Christmas, "Lots of Chocolate / Candy" is the answer we get (still). I think, well I hope that is a reflection that he doesn't get a lot of sweets. lol So, I guess he will just receive what we think he will like. He's getting a real (albeit fairly cheap) laptop, a small aquarium with a few fish and some small stuff. Kellie is getting a shopping thing, some dolls and small stuff.

Have to amend this as the other day he finally wanted to write a letter to Santa. It was like getting blood out of a stone but we finally got some play doh on the list, a gold fish :) and a swing. They are hopefully getting that for their birthday - I told him Santa couldn't carry big things like that on his sleigh. lol

There is so much to buy out there and so much I know both kids would love to play with ... no wonder it is so easy to spoil kids at this time of year, or any really. I hope we have a balance between spoiling and not. Although, there is no-one else to spoil them, so we have to do the job that grandparents, aunts and uncles normally do.

I just can't wait to see Rieley's face, especially because he has Christmas all worked out this year. :) I hope Kellie is able to follow Rieley's lead and she gets right into the excitement too.

Rieley's laptop got here today and we are quite impressed with it for $499. We've charged the battery, loaded his favourites on and done the connection to the internet - so it is all raring to go on Christmas morning.

Ron's about to start a pretty hectic work schedule. He finally got a break from the repetitious work at the site dump after about 3 months and is going underground to work on road maintenance with the roster being 13 on / 1 off and 12 hour days. It scares the crap out of me. We've agreed he has to get early nights and try not to get too run down. Might get a few more vitamins for him too. He's being doing quite well for about the last month perhaps 6 weeks, so here's hoping all goes well, he's only driving a bobcat around so not terribly hard work.

Our car decided to break down AGAIN last night when Ron was coming home from work. Something just about went through the motor but for the life of me, I can't remember what has gone wrong. Might have something to do with a harmonic balance. So about $200 later, the part should arrive Monday or Tuesday. We need to get a 'new' car but it isn't in our hopes until 2011, we just need to ride this car out for another 12 months, 18 at the most.

We all went for a walk around town last night to have a look at the Christmas lights - it was a lovely night for a stroll, even though it didn't get dark until after 9 pm.

Well I better end this before another day passes. :)

Merry Christmas

I cannot believe that it is almost December already. Gosh this year has just flown.

The kids are getting bigger and they are very entertaining. Kellie is almost 21 months and Rieley is almost 3y 9m. How quickly the time is flying; it will be their birthdays before we know it.

Kellie is still grunting a lot, pointing or shaking her head. She says a few words like 'up, wilee, mum, dad, hello. She waves and loves to do "Twinkle, Twinkle" She saw a Christmas tree last night and she loved the decorations. Pointing to them as Mum and Dad said which colour it was ... yes, she has us well trained.

What Rieley does ... Kellie does. Where Rieley goes ... Kellie goes. If Rieley cries ... Kellie cries. You get the idea. Luckily Rieley always wants Kellie to be doing what he is doing and loves that she follows him around. He hates it when she takes a toy off him but he's the worst culprit for that and is always in trouble for taking toys off Kellie. She's so funny and has a great cackle on her. She gets so excited when there is activity happening.

We went out and did a pub crawl last night. Yep we all went to the Club and then we walked to the Pub and had a couple of drinks at each. We were outside at the Club and Rieley was playing chasie with Kellie last night (basically just running around madly, luckily we were the only ones out there); lol Kellie was doing her own thing ... it was hilarious to watch.

Kellie is very jealous of anyone being near me. Whether it is Rieley sitting on my lap or Ron sitting even remotely near me. She squeezes in between.

Rieley is a sweetie and it is so easy to forget that he is still so little. About 6 weeks ago, I introduced pocket money. I want him to learn money and responsibility and how to handle it from an early age. He has two jobs a day to do - clean up the toys and set the table ready for dinner. He gets $3 each week. I give him his money in silver, so he has lots to put in his money box. :) If I'm doing something, he always wants to help and asks "so, what can I do to help?' ... it's so sweet. He surprises me quite often and says 'thank you' for things that I don't expect him to show appreciation for. He has quite nice manners anyway but it's really nice to hear him say 'thank you for dinner, Mum'.

He really wanted to plant some sunflower seeds. We spied a tub that someone was throwing away, bought some potting mix and seeds. Today we all ceremoniously planted the seeds. Of course Rieley expects them instantaneously so the next 12 weeks is going to seem like forever for him. I like the fact that all going well (which is pretty doubtful as I have a black thumb) they will be flowering for their birthdays. Here's hoping I'm not solely in charge of this activity.

Tonight I introduced a new ritual for dinner time. We have to go around the table and say three things that we enjoyed during the day. Of course Kellie is only up to listening at this stage. I read it somewhere and thought that it sounded like a good idea. The actual idea is that it helps you to see the good in your day; trains your thinking. I'm generally a pretty optimistic person and Ron is more pessimistic - I really would like the kids to see the good in their day.

Rieley enjoyed me helping him with his jigsaw, having pancakes for lunch and planting his sunflower seeds.

Ron enjoyed helping Rieley plant sunflower seeds, dinner and some rough housing on the bed with Rieley.

I enjoyed my sleep in until 10:30 am, helping Rieley plant sunflower seeds and dinner. Although really there were more than three things I enjoyed today.

By the way, we had avocado and prawn vol-e-vaunts and salad for dinner. They were yummy. It was a test run for Christmas lunch.

I gave my girlfriend $300 to buy clothes for Rieley and Kellie a few weeks ago. Well the parcel arrived on Thursday. WOW - She did such a good job and she got so much for the money. I really don't know how she got it all into the one parcel, I believe she has found her calling, especially around Christmas time. :)

Ron's present for Christmas should arrive this week. I've been so slack and I haven't done the kids shopping yet, I've looked and 'added to cart' but I haven't gone any further. The next couple of days I really have to get stuck into that.

I bought some clothes for myself on-line the other day - OMG, I hope I measured right. I really hope I haven't wasted $200 on clothes that are either too big or too small.

Back Again

About a month ago, I wrote this very long instalment. Since it was late, I decided to leave it for the night and proof it in the morning. Read ~ wasn't truly sure if I wanted to really share all of what I had to say, so I needed to sleep on it. Even though barely anyone I know reads this, I'm not great at sharing some thoughts. Well, we had a blackout during the night and I lost the lot, so the point was moot anyway.

Ron's going back to work tomorrow. Gosh we are nervous and worried. He's still got pain in his abdomen in one spot that isn't too bad but he also is still very tender in places. We are very scared that he might do something to inflame it again and then we might be back to square one.

Hopefully his work will give him light stuff to do for the first few weeks to build him up. He's been doing more and more around the house and is even able to pick Kellie up now, so he is getting better. We just hope so much that all goes well. We really need it to.

It's been a very long 3 months. I am looking forward to hopefully getting back into our day-to-day routine. I get nothing done when Ron is home or when I'm stressed over him. I'm craving normality so i can think again. LOL Although I will miss the sleep-ins I've had for the last week. We had to tell Rieley this evening that Daddy would not be home in the morning. He was quite sad about it as I knew he would be which is why I wanted to give him some warning and not just find out in the morning.

He's such a gorgeous little man (I know I am prejudice) but my goodness he is so funny and loving. What amazes me is his love for the alphabet and numbers. I would have thought he would be bored with it by now but he sings the alphabet song at least 100 times a day. He gets his blocks and tries to build words that he sees. He brought his letter to me the other day and spelt out 'rocket' - he'd seen it again on 'Word World' (one of his favourite shows) and built it himself. He's done that with quite a few words now.

I'm working on what words start with, at the moment, letting him guide me as to how much and when he wants to learn. I'll build a word, like 'cat' and then get him to find an 'm' so I then spell 'mat', etc. He loves playing that game. I'll say a word and ask him what it starts with. Some sounds he is great with and can recognise but others he doesn't get yet. He has also started to write letters occasionally and he's copying quite well. He has been able to recognise all the letters in the alphabet for months now.

We play 'hide and seek' sometimes and he now has to count to 20. That's so much fun because when Rieley hides you really don't have to look for him, you just follow the giggles. He also gets such a kick out of finding us. He's doing a lot more interactive play with his toys too now which is great, he makes up scenarios sometimes ones that follow what's happened around home but others are pure immagination.

Kellie is growing up so quickly, I realised the other day that she really has grown past the 'baby' stage and is definitely a toddler. Very sad moment. She and Rieley love playing and they rough and tumble on the couch, falling off and she just giggles. She says "Hello" and (we think) "Here you go" and "up". The rest is a jumble that I can't recognise. She loves being chased and a good tickle. She has such a beautiful laugh. Kellie is also very sassy - she knows her own mind and always has, very stubborn, very definite if she doesn't want to do something. She wouldn't go to sleep tonight, we would go in and settle her - 5 mins later she would be rattling her cot. After about 45 mins, I decided to give her another bottle. Got her up which was rewarded with a big smile and fed her a bottle.

Before I put her back to bed I was cradling her in my arms, she was so relaxed and so trusting. looking me straight in the eyes with a little smile. My heart almost pounded out of my chest with love - such a beautiful, sweet moment. Then, still cradling her, Ron was giving her kisses too and she just looked so loved and happy - she didn't want to be doing anything else. I didn't want to put her back to bed but knew I had to, she went straight to sleep - I reckon she might have gone to sleep smiling. :)

I (of course) have loved Kellie from the moment she was born but in a way, I don't think I really bonded properly with her until the last few weeks. In a way it sometimes feels like she is 'accepting' me more too.

Today we went to a photographic club meeting (our first), we took the kids of course. Rieley was running around with some other children and we had Kellie in her pram. She hadn't had her morning nap which is generally at 11 am for 2.5 hours and it was midday when the meeting started. She sat there for the most of it just happy to listen and didn't complain. I was so proud of her.

Anyway enough rambling.

Just when you think you can breathe again .... well, you just can't.

Ron had bad chest pains at work yesterday morning. They got the ESO's, who carted him up from underground to the onsite Medical Centre at the mine, then into the hospital in town. We all got ready quickly and packed a bag for Ron as he was being flown out by Royal Flying Doctor's Service to an Adelaide hospital. He's had lots of blood tests taken and he will be having a stress test today to check his heart. They actually don't think it is cardiac as the ECG's have been fine but they are making sure. They think it could be an infection in his ribs or something. The kids were mucking around when I was talking to him, so I couldn't hear properly.

On Monday, it was exactly one year since he had acute pancreatitis. Now this, I can't believe the timing. Gosh financially, I'm just getting us back on our feet.

I just hope they find out what the problem is and are able to fix it. We want him home. I'm so worried. I just feel like screaming. I'd love to just hide under the doona for a couple of days.

Being a Mummy

I wish I wrote in here more often as I do find it pretty cathartic when I do.

I really love being a Mum, this isn't just because it was Mother's Day on Sunday. After all, that's just one day of the year. Although, for that day it is nice to be spoilt and to feel that my effort is appreciated. Anyway back to the point, being a Mummy is just better than I expected and I had high expectations. Of course, some days are frustrating and tiring but one beautiful moment can wipe 1 or 8 hours of blah.

Rieley fell over on the concrete yesterday and hurt both his knees, one was skinned pretty badly. I went in to turn his light off before I went to bed last night and his eyes were open.

"Hello Mummy"

"Hello Sweetie, whats wrong?"

"My knee hurts. Will you lay down with me?"

"For a little while, Sweetheart"

"We play ..."

"No Sweetheart, it's very late."

"I love you lots, Mum."

"I love you to the moon and stars and back"

"I love you more."

Lots of hugs and kisses, lots of chatter, wanted to play and he was so cute, I couldn't resist. We were playing 'up and down', where I would wander my fingers up and down his back, to peels of laughter as it must have tickled but he loved it, then we would do it on his arm and on his head, on Ted's head, etc, etc. He was delightful.

I honestly didn't really care that he should be asleep, he was wide awake anyway, so we laid there and played for awhile. Just my first born son and I, passing half an hour or so with a bit of love and laughter.

It's so great that he can talk now; he started late-ish but gosh he's coming along quite well. There are still times that I would like a toddler translation dictionary but generally I know what he's saying.

Kellie is just beautiful, although such a singular person sometimes. She wanders around the house at her own whim, she doesn't need to always be with someone BUT if I go outside or to the toilet and close a door, she is heartbroken. She is a very stubborn, persevering, single-minded child. My goodness, tell her off for doing something and she'll move away but she'll be back as soon as you aren't looking. She's sneaky. lol She loves to carry items around and she has her favourites. She loves banging things and loud noises. She loves sitting on our knees and being bounced so she can make those noises that go with that. I'm pretty sure she's repeating a few words but not positive.

Although Rieley was similar at that age, but he would sit and play with his toys where as Kellie tends to wander all around. Sometimes, I think she is just wandering around to see what she can get into, though. lol We've had to put a clasp on the sliding screen door because Kellie likes to stand there and open and close it, for hours. Problem is she will stand on the runners and it is a drop of three steps down to concrete.

My kids just fill me with feelings that sometimes I can't name because they are overwhelming and beautiful whether it is pride, love, adoration - well, I'm not sure, they just fill my heart until it spins my head.

A couple of old pictures

Well, I thought I should finally add a couple of pics that show my Mum and Dad.  Sadly, I don't think my Mum looked well then but this is 1 year before she was diagnosed with cancer, so maybe she was already getting sick and we didn't know.  However, it's also only just over a year after my Dad died, so maybe we just didn't notice.  She just seems to look a lot older than what she ever looked in person.  

This is my Mum and I when I got married to Ron (1 October 1995)

This is Mum and Dad, they won a photography session at a dinner.  (1989 or 1990)

Twelve years of missing you, Mum

God, I miss you. Several times a day, I think of things that I would like to tell you about or ask your advice on or just think that I wish you were alive. Even after 12 years it's hard to believe that, in this life, I'll never see you or talk to you again.

The last few weeks have been hard, they usually are, as this day crashes towards me. As I do, I've crawled into my shell for a bit. It shouldn't be so, but I guess it is when I miss you the most maybe because of all those last memories. I've cried a lot and that deep sadness has taken over my heart.

Today has been full of memories of the day you passed away. Being woken up at about 6 am by Ron to tell me that you had 'gone'. You were still warm. I was only sleeping a couple of metres away but I didn't know you were leaving. I think you left then for a reason. You hated people fussing and I think you preferred to be close to us but nobody in your face. I'm not certain, though, so I still feel bad that I just had no idea. I was sleeping on the couch and Ron was on a mattress on the floor behind the couch, he said that he woke up at some stage and we were both snoring in unisom. LOL It was time for you to go, you had had enough of being sick and you were so weak.

It's all so clear now but at the time, I was still hoping so hard that we could get you better. I didn't 'know' you were going to go but if I had looked, the signs were all there on the Sunday. Even though we had all told you it was ok to go if you needed to, I would have kept fighting to get you well. We all would have.

You were my best friend, we had so much fun and many laughs together. You, Dad and I were thick as thieves - it was Dad and my job to make you laugh and we did a pretty good job at it. As you know, you weren't the most understanding person - way too practical and down to earth. But, you had a huge heart and I know you cared deeply.

I don't know if you ever knew how you swelled my heart the day you told me that you were so proud of me because I never let my vision impairment stop me from doing anything. You were driving me to a job interview at Oberon, so I could go and live with John. I was 23. You didn't want me to do what I was doing, but you helped me and you were proud of me. Well, Mum, I hope I am as good a Mum as you because that showed how special you were, among many other instances. You didn't like John one bit and well I should have listened, but you were ok with me doing what I needed to do.

With Ron, you loved him from the start. I reckon you breathed many sighs of relief when you met him. You knew he was perfect for me too. Thank you for welcoming Cathie and Jamie into our family.

I wish Rieley and Kellie had gotten a chance to meet their Oma - oh you would have loved them, just as much as all the other grandchildren. They would have had fun and loved you and Dad too. I point you and Dad out in your picture but I'll wait until they understand a bit more to tell them about their Oma and Opa. I just wish there were some memories for them to go with the picture.

What I miss so much is being able to ring you up and tell you about the kids, I want to brag about little things, like Rieley is doing so well at brushing his teeth by himself now, that Kellie is so cute when she stands at the couch and bounces back and forward from the cushion - she loves it. I have no-one to tell the boring stuff to, the day-to-day trivial things that makes a child's personality their own. No-one to brag about the important things - Kellie got heaps of teeth and Rieley has only wet the bed about 5 times in almost a year of no nappies.

Anyway, I just want my Mummy and I can't have her. My life goes on and generally it's a pretty good one but you and Dad left a great big hole when you each left. One that can never be filled.

I love you Mum.

SHAUN - WHERE ARE YOU

SHAUN - WHERE ARE YOU
Originally uploaded by Cameron Corner

Taken on a recent family holiday to Cowell in SA. The sheep grazing just took my fancy to capture this pic.

We've moved

My goodness it has been ages since I've even looked at my blog.

Ron got very sick but then finally had the long wished for turning point and is now all good.

We've moved from Townsville to Roxby Downs. We lived here for 5 years all up beginning in 1997. It feels strange being back here with two kids in tow. The town has changed a bit. It has expanded and is continuing to do so. The main street is pretty much the same just some shops are gone and some shops are new. We've been in Roxby for a month now.

BHP now run the mine and pretty well the town, so some things have changed in respect to that.

Ron's working with his old employer and this time is working in the new estate that is about to be released. I think he is enjoying being back at work, full-time and feeling so much better.

Rieley is going great. For a year and a half, he's been screaming whenever he has a bath or shower. He doesn't like water on his face or head. Of course, he DOES need to be cleaned so it has been an excruciating time. I really am surprised that no-one has called DOCS because his screams are blood curdling and it sounds like we are taking to him with a bloody big stick. Baths got worse and worse and I / we had tried everything to get him to have a bath without screaming. So we then tried the shower - not much better but slightly. Finally, and it has taken so much patience he is having a bit of fun in the shower and actually sometimes gets his hair wet and doesn't scream.

In the last few weeks his vocabulary has just gone ahead in leaps and bounds. He tends to copy what we say and he is stringing a few sentences and concepts together. He constantly surprises us with his understanding and recognition. He's also started to sing along to Play School and songs that I sing. He has such a sweet voice right now.

Kellie started crawling the day before she was 8 months old. Mostly dragging herself along with her forearms and pushing with her knees. She's been trawling the furniture for ages but she zips along now and I'm sure it won't be long before she is walking. Today she crawled a little way and then seemed to be trying to stand up without the aid of furniture. She couldn't do it but she tried. She's 9 months old now.

She 'talks' a lot more than Rieley ever did and is quite vocal. I guess that stems from being a girl. :)

I Suck at Blogging

Although it has been pretty hectic around here.

I'm not sure why I bother about this as no-one reads it - I haven't told anyone about my blog. So I guess it doesn't really matter how often I contribute to it or what I put in it. :)

Ron's back in hospital, went back in last Saturday afternoon. I was having a sleep as I have a bad (for me) case of the flu or a cold. I'm also a bit like a male when I get sick as it doesn't happen very often and I hate it. Anyway, Rieley woke me, saying 'Mummy Up'. So I got up, as I walked through the hall door, I could see Ron lying on the loungeroom floor. I called out to him as I was walking towards him but g0t no answer, just as I got to him, he moved his head. Which BTW was resting on his glasses and various toy blocks. That leads me to believe that Ron did black out for a period. He told me later that he was crossing the lounge to put a DVD on for Rieley when he suddenly felt very hot and dizzy, next thing he remembers is Rieley shaking him, saying "Daddy". Ron told Rieley to come and get me.

I rang 000 straight away as Ron's pain was also back, then got him some morphine to take which he threw back up a few minutes later. I forgot to give him the anti-nausea medicine when I gave him the first morphine. DUH!!!! I should know by now.

So, he's in hospital again. He's in the Cardiac area this time, though. A doctor who saw him on Sunday night suggested that it is a problem with his Sinus Node in the heart which is causing him to have a low pulse rate. Apparently the Sinus Node is the Pacemaker of the heart. He thinks that the acute pain Ron has been in for the last 4 months has affected it. What else is this going to cause a problem with???

I had to give the Client Liaison Officer a ring this afternoon because we have concerns about his treatment. Basically, nothing was happening. In the afternoon after I spoke with her, Doctors started appearing and the wheels of motion have begun actually turning. There's a problem with his HEART people - start doing something about it before something bad happens.

I'm just so worried about him, it's so hard not to be a mess right now. I have to stay strong because of the kids.

The Week That Was ......

It just went so very quickly. I really don't know where the time goes. I guess Rieley takes a lot of my time and then Kellie also takes a fair bit too. Rieley is certainly more demanding at this age, as he can tell me what he wants. Is that a good thing????? LOL

Ron had a bad week pain wise and a few doctor's visits. Ron drove me around while I took some photos for the Scav Hunt. Rieley wants to be played with constantly and there is always something he wants. :) Kellie's reflux isn't good at present as she has been throwing up a LOT and I wonder if that is because she might be getting another tooth (she has two)???? Her nappies smell of amonia and she's been very tired and wanting to be held. We tried some gripe water again tonight and that seemed to pick her up a bit. We actually had some real giggles and a bit of a laugh as I pretended to sneeze countless times - ahhhhhh, anything to amuse my little girl.

If I play with Kellie, Rieley gets right on me and tries to distract my attention from Kellie to him. He's very jealous and I'm not sure how to go about making sure that Kellie gets the attention she needs. It's not fair on her if I continue to let Rieley distract me, simply because he's so much easier to play with and if I don't then I'm going to have a massive tanty on my hands. My baby girl deserves more than she is getting right now.

I need to get Kellie weighed to officially find out she is a little podge - my goodness she has such a pot gut and is almost going to be out of her size '00' clothes soon.

She has a gorgeous little laugh that is like a gurgle and when she smiles her whole face lights up. Unfortunately, right now, she has a face like mine that needs a smile plastered on or people think you are worried about something or unhappy. I'm hoping it is just lack of teeth in Kellie's face. :) Her hair is growing too - she started out with really dark hair and quite a bit of it but lost most of it and just a whole heap on the top of her head remained. Well, it's filling out and is as soft as silk and while it is still quite dark, it is much lighter than when she was born. I reckon she might have a similar colour to Mum's - a lightish brown. She has beautiful dark eye lashes too and just like her sister, Cathie, one of her eye brows raise independently of the other.

Rieley's hair is a dark blonde as it grows - lighter than Kellie's. When I clip his hair, it's a lot lighter. I worry a bit that he may have buck teeth but they don't seem to be too bad at this stage. When he smiles, his front teeth are more prominent than the others but they don't really look protruding when you look at the whole mouth. Must take him to a dentist. He loves brushing his teeth. He absolutely hates having his hair washed and screams the whole house down. I'm surprised the neighbours have not called DOCS by now, as his screams are blood curdling. I do NOT know how to make this better and everything I have tried ends up in screams and tears. It's been going on for at least a year and it is soooo frustrating.

We had a house inspection 10 days ago and then Friday we also had the owners come to Townsville for a look at their investment, so it's been a busy few days making sure that everything looks lovely. I mowed the front lawn in record time in the morning - I was stuffed.

Well that was the week that was plus a bit about the kids to catch up.

Scavenger Hunt

Since 1 September, I have been participating in a Photographic Scavenger Hunt organised through the Photography Forum on Essential Baby. We have a list of 45 things that we need to take a pic of during the month of September. It's a fun thing rather than an all out competition.

I think I've done 16 of the items so far. It's rather more time consuming than I at first thought but it is good to get the camera out and to have a challenge.

Here are a few of my fav pics that I have to date entered.





Something older than me ~ the key to my Gran's old writing desk.




Foreign currency ~ Some German coins displayed on a German flag that I drew.



A pirate hat ~ More points if you are wearing it. Since I didn't have a pirate hat handy, I remembered that when we were kids we used to make these. :)



My favourite colour ~ Orange at the moment but tomorrow it might be yellow or green or whatever takes my fancy. I love bold colours but I think pastels are pretty nice too. My favourite colour changes constantly.



Light ~ A pic of Ron lighting a match to provide light.

There are more but that's it for now. :)

1 am

Every night I get Rieley up at around 1 am to go to the loo. I love doing this. He's all sleepy as I pick him up from his bed and carry him, I get to snuggle and whisper my love to him and how he is such a good boy. He smiles at me with such a sweet smile that just melts my heart.

He does a wee, I carry him back to bed and all too soon this wonderful time is over but I always linger over making him comfortable and making sure he has all his teddies.

Before we toilet trained him, every night I used to go in at about the same time, just to watch him sleep for a few minutes. This is so much better as I get to snuggle. Do you think he'll be ok with me doing this when he is 10????? LOL

He's growing up way too fast. I'd love to keep him this age for so much longer - it's just sweet (of course when he isn't throwing a tantrum or trying to reign supreme) and he's so loving and the smallest thing can make him so happy. A tickle fest on the floor or chasing him around the house will light up his little life like the biggest light bulb ever invented.

Please don't grow up too fast my little man - I love you so very much.

This was taken at the beginning of the year but hey not much has changed.

Ron

Ron has been unwell since 11 May 2008, when he was rushed to hospital by ambulance in huge amounts of pain. It apparently came on very fast while he was feeding Kellie her morning bottle. He was letting me have a sleep in since it was Mother's Day. It was all he could do to get from the lounge to the bedroom to wake me up and get me to call 000.

It was terrifying. As he had to rush out our bedroom to the backyard (we have an external sliding door) because he needed to be ill. My main memory is that he was covered in little beads of sweat, especially on his head and he was in agony.

Over the next 10 weeks he was in hospital for the majority of it. They kept discharging him but he really needed to be there. One turn around time was 6 hours.

The stuff I googled about Acute Pancreatitis just made my blood run cold because it is extremely serious as the pancreas is a very necessary organ. It's also one organ that cannot be replaced by a donar organ.

He had surgery because a cyst burst. He's still very far from being recovered - he's in a great deal of pain all the time and taking heaps of morphine to cope.

This all worries me a lot, I wonder how much of his pancreas is being eaten away? When will he start feeling better? It's so frustrating because I just want to make him better and nothing is helping at the moment. Mostly I just hate seeing my darling husband in so much pain.

Today, Kellie through up all over him and I rushed over with a cloth and when I saw it, I automatically started rubbing it off. Bad move. I caused Ron to have a very bad night and thus I feel awful about it.

A FAMILY FATHER'S DAY

We had a lovely day on Sunday. We organised for Jamie, Cathie, Scottie, & Shaye to come for a roast lunch. Ron woke up early and prepared the vegies - heaps of them. Everything was a bit disorganised because we really should have cooked the roasts (pork & beef) the day before because we just didn't have enough room in the oven for everything to run smoothly.

Rieley, Shaye, Jamie & Scottie played on the trampoline and Jamie impressed us with his backflips. Here's a pic...



Cathie brought some delicious cakes (which we have been eating all week) that Rieley just wolfed down - he loves his sweets. Lucky he burns it off. Ron & I made a Yoghurt Cake on Saturday as well because I really wanted to try Lisa's recipe. I think I'm going to make that again this weekend too - it's so good.

Miss Kellie even had a helping of apple sauce and a tiny bit of cake.




Unfortunately Ron wasn't feeling the best and had to go and have a lie down after lunch.

IT'S BEEN SOOOOOO LONG

It's been 14 years since you passed away Dad (5113 days to be specific). You and Mum were my best friends and I miss you so much. We had such a loving and friendly relationship. We used to spin off of one another, we'd have Mum (and ourselves) in fits of laughter - I miss you and our jokes / fun so very much.

I would speak to Mum on the phone countless times a day but if I had a problem, but you would be the one I would go to for comfort. You had such a big heart. I miss sitting down and having a natter and a cuppa or a glass of wine. I miss you adjusting my neck and back.

I believe you are standing close by but gosh you have missed so much of our lives. I wish so much that Rieley and Kellie had of been able to meet you - and Mum of course. Heck, I wish Ron had met you because I really think that you two would have hit it off.

We had our moments when things were rough but it never altered how much we loved one another.

I love you and I miss you, Dad. I hope you are watching over us all and getting to experience your grandchildren's lives in some way, shape or form.

One day I'll be with you and Mum again - I'm looking forward to that day but I do want to spend as much time as I can here with Ron and our kids first.

LOLLIPOPS

Well today Rieley and I headed this children's fun place with Karen, Dec & Jack. The boys had a ball, Karen & I enjoyed ourselves also. Rieley was just so excited from the moment he laid eyes on the huge slide. The excitement in him was just like a life of it's own - bursting out. He'd found his way up the slide before I'd had a chance to take his shoes off and put socks on him. Well his first go was pretty darn funny, after the initial worry. He came down the first section ok, but then he started to get tossed around until he was head first. To say my heart filled with panic is an understatement as I raced to see if he was ok. Of course, my hard-headed little man got up laughing and ready for more. He'd pretty well perfected it by the end of the day, even coming down head first.

We couldn't talk Rieley into the Tea Cup Ride, he'd found slides and that was it. Finally later in the day we attracted his attention to it. Too funny. He went on with Jack & Dec. The ride started and the platform is spinning, the girl gives their tea cup a spin in the opposite direction, but all the while Rieley is doing circles with his head looking up at the ceiling. Fortunately Dec grabbed him before he got too dizzy and started to spin out. He absolutely loved it. Next time, I had a go with him - it's a great ride even if it is just meant for kids. :)

Karen bought us all an icecream, so we all sat at the table and sucked them down. Dec & Jack finished quicker than Rieley and ran off to play. So, of course Rieley was now finished his icecream. He handed it to me - the sacrifice us Mum's have to make finishing our kid's icecreams is a burden I tell you. He didn't leave much but there was a bit of icecream there, so what else could I do but eat it - other option was to watch it melt and we can't have that. Poor Rieley doesn't probably understand that we can't hold an icecream for long. Well he came back and there was only a little bit of icecream left but I dutifully handed it back - the look of utter desolation was priceless. He had a bit of a bite and then handed it back to me - silly boy. So thinking it was really safe to finish as he really didn't want it - I had another bite which left only a sliver of icecream on the cone. Well, he wanted it back didn't he. LOL - his face showed that the world was indeed coming to an end very soon. As Karen said, Rieley has a face that shows so much expression and today's was just priceless.

Unfortunately few of the pics I took today worked out. Me and the camera did not co-ordinate very well.

INSOMNIA

It's Evil!!!!!! I'm tired but I can't sleep. I should be able to sleep after quite a busy day today but nope. Instead I tossed and turned, then decided to get up before I disturb Ron as well. He hasn't been sleeping as well as usual since his problems with Pancreatitis began.

I've had it for years. I can understand it on the days when I have a nap but not when I'm tired as all get out. I'm sick of only 4 hours max sleep a night.

Kahlilla Blyss

A little girl passed away on 25 August 2008. I'd never met this little girl but I feel like my heart is broken and I grieve for the fact that this angel knew so much pain and that she and her family can no longer be together.

I knew her because I read the blog her family created about her journey with Neuroblastoma IV. Lill was an amazing child - she was an Angel on earth and now she is an Angel in heaven. I'm sure she is with her family. Her family are pretty special too and made Lill's short life a magical one.

Kahlilla was born on 18 March 2003, she shares her birth date with my niece Alenka.

I loved reading about the joy her Mum, Collie (her Dad), Indi, Eli, Poppy and Nanny (plus a whole host of family and friends). They engaged life and showed Kahlilla and Indi a beautiful world. Eli was only born in May this year, I just feel so sad that he won't have Kahlilla around to grow up with. A beautiful picture taken not long ago shows Lill making Eli laugh like crazy and I carry that picture in my heart.

I hope sweet Lill is now free to fly the Pegasus, dance with the fairies, eat lots of pink marshmellows, see all the beautiful waterfalls and rainbows, and stand at the tallest lighthouse while she watches over her family. From her pictures, her smile could light up your life, her love for life was enviable and her sweet, beautiful nature shone so brightly.

They held a Memorial for her on Sunday - Kahlilla's Parade, at 3 pm at Port Phillip Island in Victoria, Australia. Ron and I released 5 beautiful, colourful balloons to show our love and respect for this gorgeous, brave girl.

Neuroblastoma is a cancer that young children get, it's a monster - I pray they find a cure for this very quickly and that no other child has to go through what the children who have had this have gone through.

LATE AT NIGHT

I haven't been in here for ages. I think I've only posted one entry - how slack am I? Must remember to come in here now that I have a shiny new password (I forgot the last one).

Let's see...

My adorable baby girl, Kellie Ann, is 6 months old today. The time has just gone so fast. She's a lovely little girl, very quiet, very serious but definitely knows what she wants and she is not afraid to tell us. I think she is just taking it all in right now. Most nights she sleeps through but she still has a few nights where she wants something to drink in the very early hours of the morning.

Kellie has two teeth and she rolls around heaps. My mission is to make her giggle / laugh / smile more because she is just so very serious. We haven't spent much money on Kellie since she was born so the other day we decided to buy her an activity centre. Here is a pic...
















Rieley is almost 2.5 years old and he is just divine. He understands so much and is always
wanting to help me around the house, sometimes he even initiates it and one day he will understand exactly why you don't throw good clothes in with Dad's crappy, dirty work clothes.



Rieley is toilet trained now and totally out of nappies, fortunately he was very easy to do this with. Must admit it probably helped that he loves Freddo Frogs. :)

He is also wanting to learn numbers and letters. He brings the books over for me to read to him and he brings his drawing thing over and tells me what number or letter he wants me to write.

I'm trying very hard to learn to be more fun with the kids - it's a hard slog when you just aren't creative but I'm trying. He loves doing milk paintings - a little bit of milk in a bowl and food colouring, twirl a stick around in there and you get some lovely art.



I'm so fortunate to have this time with my beautiful babies. I love them both so much.

THE BEGINNING

Well, a blog - never thought I would create one and really don't know how well I will keep it up as I have never been very good with keeping diaries in my life.

I'm 42 and married to the greatest life partner I could wish for, Ron (50) and we have a son, Rieley, who is 16 months old. Ron has two children from his previous marrieage, Cathie (27) and Jamie (25). Cathie has two children, Jonathan (9) and Shaye (4). Jamie has one child, Lilly (2). We have two furry girls - Jessie who is a kelpie cross, and her daughter, Twister who is a Whippet, Kelpie cross. That's our family.

Although, I must make a mention of the bub I have growing in my tummy at present - we are 5 weeks, 5 days into the pregnancy and conception was through IVF using the ICSI method. As was Rieley.

We live in Townsville, Queensland, Australia. Which is in the tropical north of Australia. For most of the year, it is very muggy - which after almost 2 years, I'm still getting used to. The winters are pretty nice though.

I'm a SAHM and love it 95% of the time. I love being there for Rieley, being his major influence and after the years of waiting to have a baby, I find the time with him so very precious and I really don't want to miss a moment. I would feel so ripped off if someone else got to see his 'firsts'. I worked for just shy of 20 years and none of that was as fulfilling as what I do now.

Although sometimes it would be nice to have that time out of the house, earning some money, getting recognition for a job well done, being able to have regular conversations and relationships outside of the house. Right now my conversations totally consist of Rieley and I'm sure I bore everyone silly with that.