Christmas

What a fantastic Christmas we had. It was a Christmas that my dreams for many years have been made of. It was probably my favourite Christmas ever.

Rieley was so VERY excited when he woke up on Christmas morn at 6:45 am. Thankfully Kellie woke up at the same time.

On Christmas Eve, we had a very nice dinner, then we put out stockings, the Santa sack (where Santa puts one present for each child unwrapped), cookies, a carrot, water and a beer. We stood at Rieley's window for quite a while trying to spy Santa's sleigh but no luck, maybe next year. ;)

The kids opened the Santa sack and tipped out their stocking, then we had breakfast and a much needed cup of coffee for Mum and Dad. :) Our breakfast was 'ham and smoked cheese croissants' which were so yummy, we've had them for the last 3 Christmas breakfasts now. We then went and opened the rest of the presents. It was so much fun and took a lot of time, which was even better. Each toy or book or whatever had to be examined and exclaimed over (by Rieley). We had to help Kellie open some presents which she wasn't terribly interested in, she just wanted to play with what Rieley opened. lol We decided that we would only tag those presents that were specifically for one child and the rest were for whichever child got it first. Our policy in this house is that all toys are to be played with by both of them, they have a couple of special items but I've found neither are territorial. So that is why we didn't tag the majority of the presents.

Rieley was so excited he was shaking like crazy and just so happy and 'loved' everything and everything was 'this is the best xxx that I've ever seen'. lol

Ron and I napped a bit in the lounge room while the kids played with their toys around us. We then made a 'decadent chocolate mousse' during the morning and a couple of salads. Lunch was cold meat and salad and it was delicious. I just bought 5 x 250 g of ham and turkey from the deli. Tiger prawns and leftovers for dinner plus the Mousse in brandy boats for desert and OMG it is totally delicious. First time I have ever cooked a chocolate mousse.

I got a wii game (Super Mario) for Ron and we played that for a short while in the afternoon and later when the kids were tucked in bed - too funny. It's two player, simultaneously and a bit like watching Laurel and Hardy. PMSL

I asked for a push bike and a trailer for my Christmas and birthday present. I went and got the bike the other day but I'll get the trailer in a month or so.

We have had a lovely, relaxing three days. Ron is back at work tomorrow morning and won't have a day off until about 8 January as we have some friends staying for a couple of days, so Ron is taking some leave for that.

Only blot on an otherwise perfect few days have been my headaches, I get them daily (I've always got a headache, it's just how bad that varies) anyway but they seem to be getting worse when I'm ovulating and when I get my period. Of course I'm ovulating. I'm also taking some tablets right now that seem to be giving me a different headache also. I think it's my weak area of my body, so my head is affected very easily. I'm just so sick and tired of having a headache all the time and it seems worse when it is a special time of year - I cried to Ron this morning (which doesn't happen very often). He thinks we should nudge the Ophthalmologist and see what is going on with what he wants to do with my nystagmus surgery which might help with some of these headaches.

Well ... 8 (now 5 - oops I've had this open for 3 days) big sleeps until Santa comes to town. So very exciting for an almost 4 year old. I'm revving him up as best I can too. :D Love it.

When we ask Rieley what he wants for Christmas, "Lots of Chocolate / Candy" is the answer we get (still). I think, well I hope that is a reflection that he doesn't get a lot of sweets. lol So, I guess he will just receive what we think he will like. He's getting a real (albeit fairly cheap) laptop, a small aquarium with a few fish and some small stuff. Kellie is getting a shopping thing, some dolls and small stuff.

Have to amend this as the other day he finally wanted to write a letter to Santa. It was like getting blood out of a stone but we finally got some play doh on the list, a gold fish :) and a swing. They are hopefully getting that for their birthday - I told him Santa couldn't carry big things like that on his sleigh. lol

There is so much to buy out there and so much I know both kids would love to play with ... no wonder it is so easy to spoil kids at this time of year, or any really. I hope we have a balance between spoiling and not. Although, there is no-one else to spoil them, so we have to do the job that grandparents, aunts and uncles normally do.

I just can't wait to see Rieley's face, especially because he has Christmas all worked out this year. :) I hope Kellie is able to follow Rieley's lead and she gets right into the excitement too.

Rieley's laptop got here today and we are quite impressed with it for $499. We've charged the battery, loaded his favourites on and done the connection to the internet - so it is all raring to go on Christmas morning.

Ron's about to start a pretty hectic work schedule. He finally got a break from the repetitious work at the site dump after about 3 months and is going underground to work on road maintenance with the roster being 13 on / 1 off and 12 hour days. It scares the crap out of me. We've agreed he has to get early nights and try not to get too run down. Might get a few more vitamins for him too. He's being doing quite well for about the last month perhaps 6 weeks, so here's hoping all goes well, he's only driving a bobcat around so not terribly hard work.

Our car decided to break down AGAIN last night when Ron was coming home from work. Something just about went through the motor but for the life of me, I can't remember what has gone wrong. Might have something to do with a harmonic balance. So about $200 later, the part should arrive Monday or Tuesday. We need to get a 'new' car but it isn't in our hopes until 2011, we just need to ride this car out for another 12 months, 18 at the most.

We all went for a walk around town last night to have a look at the Christmas lights - it was a lovely night for a stroll, even though it didn't get dark until after 9 pm.

Well I better end this before another day passes. :)

Merry Christmas

I cannot believe that it is almost December already. Gosh this year has just flown.

The kids are getting bigger and they are very entertaining. Kellie is almost 21 months and Rieley is almost 3y 9m. How quickly the time is flying; it will be their birthdays before we know it.

Kellie is still grunting a lot, pointing or shaking her head. She says a few words like 'up, wilee, mum, dad, hello. She waves and loves to do "Twinkle, Twinkle" She saw a Christmas tree last night and she loved the decorations. Pointing to them as Mum and Dad said which colour it was ... yes, she has us well trained.

What Rieley does ... Kellie does. Where Rieley goes ... Kellie goes. If Rieley cries ... Kellie cries. You get the idea. Luckily Rieley always wants Kellie to be doing what he is doing and loves that she follows him around. He hates it when she takes a toy off him but he's the worst culprit for that and is always in trouble for taking toys off Kellie. She's so funny and has a great cackle on her. She gets so excited when there is activity happening.

We went out and did a pub crawl last night. Yep we all went to the Club and then we walked to the Pub and had a couple of drinks at each. We were outside at the Club and Rieley was playing chasie with Kellie last night (basically just running around madly, luckily we were the only ones out there); lol Kellie was doing her own thing ... it was hilarious to watch.

Kellie is very jealous of anyone being near me. Whether it is Rieley sitting on my lap or Ron sitting even remotely near me. She squeezes in between.

Rieley is a sweetie and it is so easy to forget that he is still so little. About 6 weeks ago, I introduced pocket money. I want him to learn money and responsibility and how to handle it from an early age. He has two jobs a day to do - clean up the toys and set the table ready for dinner. He gets $3 each week. I give him his money in silver, so he has lots to put in his money box. :) If I'm doing something, he always wants to help and asks "so, what can I do to help?' ... it's so sweet. He surprises me quite often and says 'thank you' for things that I don't expect him to show appreciation for. He has quite nice manners anyway but it's really nice to hear him say 'thank you for dinner, Mum'.

He really wanted to plant some sunflower seeds. We spied a tub that someone was throwing away, bought some potting mix and seeds. Today we all ceremoniously planted the seeds. Of course Rieley expects them instantaneously so the next 12 weeks is going to seem like forever for him. I like the fact that all going well (which is pretty doubtful as I have a black thumb) they will be flowering for their birthdays. Here's hoping I'm not solely in charge of this activity.

Tonight I introduced a new ritual for dinner time. We have to go around the table and say three things that we enjoyed during the day. Of course Kellie is only up to listening at this stage. I read it somewhere and thought that it sounded like a good idea. The actual idea is that it helps you to see the good in your day; trains your thinking. I'm generally a pretty optimistic person and Ron is more pessimistic - I really would like the kids to see the good in their day.

Rieley enjoyed me helping him with his jigsaw, having pancakes for lunch and planting his sunflower seeds.

Ron enjoyed helping Rieley plant sunflower seeds, dinner and some rough housing on the bed with Rieley.

I enjoyed my sleep in until 10:30 am, helping Rieley plant sunflower seeds and dinner. Although really there were more than three things I enjoyed today.

By the way, we had avocado and prawn vol-e-vaunts and salad for dinner. They were yummy. It was a test run for Christmas lunch.

I gave my girlfriend $300 to buy clothes for Rieley and Kellie a few weeks ago. Well the parcel arrived on Thursday. WOW - She did such a good job and she got so much for the money. I really don't know how she got it all into the one parcel, I believe she has found her calling, especially around Christmas time. :)

Ron's present for Christmas should arrive this week. I've been so slack and I haven't done the kids shopping yet, I've looked and 'added to cart' but I haven't gone any further. The next couple of days I really have to get stuck into that.

I bought some clothes for myself on-line the other day - OMG, I hope I measured right. I really hope I haven't wasted $200 on clothes that are either too big or too small.

Back Again

About a month ago, I wrote this very long instalment. Since it was late, I decided to leave it for the night and proof it in the morning. Read ~ wasn't truly sure if I wanted to really share all of what I had to say, so I needed to sleep on it. Even though barely anyone I know reads this, I'm not great at sharing some thoughts. Well, we had a blackout during the night and I lost the lot, so the point was moot anyway.

Ron's going back to work tomorrow. Gosh we are nervous and worried. He's still got pain in his abdomen in one spot that isn't too bad but he also is still very tender in places. We are very scared that he might do something to inflame it again and then we might be back to square one.

Hopefully his work will give him light stuff to do for the first few weeks to build him up. He's been doing more and more around the house and is even able to pick Kellie up now, so he is getting better. We just hope so much that all goes well. We really need it to.

It's been a very long 3 months. I am looking forward to hopefully getting back into our day-to-day routine. I get nothing done when Ron is home or when I'm stressed over him. I'm craving normality so i can think again. LOL Although I will miss the sleep-ins I've had for the last week. We had to tell Rieley this evening that Daddy would not be home in the morning. He was quite sad about it as I knew he would be which is why I wanted to give him some warning and not just find out in the morning.

He's such a gorgeous little man (I know I am prejudice) but my goodness he is so funny and loving. What amazes me is his love for the alphabet and numbers. I would have thought he would be bored with it by now but he sings the alphabet song at least 100 times a day. He gets his blocks and tries to build words that he sees. He brought his letter to me the other day and spelt out 'rocket' - he'd seen it again on 'Word World' (one of his favourite shows) and built it himself. He's done that with quite a few words now.

I'm working on what words start with, at the moment, letting him guide me as to how much and when he wants to learn. I'll build a word, like 'cat' and then get him to find an 'm' so I then spell 'mat', etc. He loves playing that game. I'll say a word and ask him what it starts with. Some sounds he is great with and can recognise but others he doesn't get yet. He has also started to write letters occasionally and he's copying quite well. He has been able to recognise all the letters in the alphabet for months now.

We play 'hide and seek' sometimes and he now has to count to 20. That's so much fun because when Rieley hides you really don't have to look for him, you just follow the giggles. He also gets such a kick out of finding us. He's doing a lot more interactive play with his toys too now which is great, he makes up scenarios sometimes ones that follow what's happened around home but others are pure immagination.

Kellie is growing up so quickly, I realised the other day that she really has grown past the 'baby' stage and is definitely a toddler. Very sad moment. She and Rieley love playing and they rough and tumble on the couch, falling off and she just giggles. She says "Hello" and (we think) "Here you go" and "up". The rest is a jumble that I can't recognise. She loves being chased and a good tickle. She has such a beautiful laugh. Kellie is also very sassy - she knows her own mind and always has, very stubborn, very definite if she doesn't want to do something. She wouldn't go to sleep tonight, we would go in and settle her - 5 mins later she would be rattling her cot. After about 45 mins, I decided to give her another bottle. Got her up which was rewarded with a big smile and fed her a bottle.

Before I put her back to bed I was cradling her in my arms, she was so relaxed and so trusting. looking me straight in the eyes with a little smile. My heart almost pounded out of my chest with love - such a beautiful, sweet moment. Then, still cradling her, Ron was giving her kisses too and she just looked so loved and happy - she didn't want to be doing anything else. I didn't want to put her back to bed but knew I had to, she went straight to sleep - I reckon she might have gone to sleep smiling. :)

I (of course) have loved Kellie from the moment she was born but in a way, I don't think I really bonded properly with her until the last few weeks. In a way it sometimes feels like she is 'accepting' me more too.

Today we went to a photographic club meeting (our first), we took the kids of course. Rieley was running around with some other children and we had Kellie in her pram. She hadn't had her morning nap which is generally at 11 am for 2.5 hours and it was midday when the meeting started. She sat there for the most of it just happy to listen and didn't complain. I was so proud of her.

Anyway enough rambling.

Just when you think you can breathe again .... well, you just can't.

Ron had bad chest pains at work yesterday morning. They got the ESO's, who carted him up from underground to the onsite Medical Centre at the mine, then into the hospital in town. We all got ready quickly and packed a bag for Ron as he was being flown out by Royal Flying Doctor's Service to an Adelaide hospital. He's had lots of blood tests taken and he will be having a stress test today to check his heart. They actually don't think it is cardiac as the ECG's have been fine but they are making sure. They think it could be an infection in his ribs or something. The kids were mucking around when I was talking to him, so I couldn't hear properly.

On Monday, it was exactly one year since he had acute pancreatitis. Now this, I can't believe the timing. Gosh financially, I'm just getting us back on our feet.

I just hope they find out what the problem is and are able to fix it. We want him home. I'm so worried. I just feel like screaming. I'd love to just hide under the doona for a couple of days.

Being a Mummy

I wish I wrote in here more often as I do find it pretty cathartic when I do.

I really love being a Mum, this isn't just because it was Mother's Day on Sunday. After all, that's just one day of the year. Although, for that day it is nice to be spoilt and to feel that my effort is appreciated. Anyway back to the point, being a Mummy is just better than I expected and I had high expectations. Of course, some days are frustrating and tiring but one beautiful moment can wipe 1 or 8 hours of blah.

Rieley fell over on the concrete yesterday and hurt both his knees, one was skinned pretty badly. I went in to turn his light off before I went to bed last night and his eyes were open.

"Hello Mummy"

"Hello Sweetie, whats wrong?"

"My knee hurts. Will you lay down with me?"

"For a little while, Sweetheart"

"We play ..."

"No Sweetheart, it's very late."

"I love you lots, Mum."

"I love you to the moon and stars and back"

"I love you more."

Lots of hugs and kisses, lots of chatter, wanted to play and he was so cute, I couldn't resist. We were playing 'up and down', where I would wander my fingers up and down his back, to peels of laughter as it must have tickled but he loved it, then we would do it on his arm and on his head, on Ted's head, etc, etc. He was delightful.

I honestly didn't really care that he should be asleep, he was wide awake anyway, so we laid there and played for awhile. Just my first born son and I, passing half an hour or so with a bit of love and laughter.

It's so great that he can talk now; he started late-ish but gosh he's coming along quite well. There are still times that I would like a toddler translation dictionary but generally I know what he's saying.

Kellie is just beautiful, although such a singular person sometimes. She wanders around the house at her own whim, she doesn't need to always be with someone BUT if I go outside or to the toilet and close a door, she is heartbroken. She is a very stubborn, persevering, single-minded child. My goodness, tell her off for doing something and she'll move away but she'll be back as soon as you aren't looking. She's sneaky. lol She loves to carry items around and she has her favourites. She loves banging things and loud noises. She loves sitting on our knees and being bounced so she can make those noises that go with that. I'm pretty sure she's repeating a few words but not positive.

Although Rieley was similar at that age, but he would sit and play with his toys where as Kellie tends to wander all around. Sometimes, I think she is just wandering around to see what she can get into, though. lol We've had to put a clasp on the sliding screen door because Kellie likes to stand there and open and close it, for hours. Problem is she will stand on the runners and it is a drop of three steps down to concrete.

My kids just fill me with feelings that sometimes I can't name because they are overwhelming and beautiful whether it is pride, love, adoration - well, I'm not sure, they just fill my heart until it spins my head.

A couple of old pictures

Well, I thought I should finally add a couple of pics that show my Mum and Dad.  Sadly, I don't think my Mum looked well then but this is 1 year before she was diagnosed with cancer, so maybe she was already getting sick and we didn't know.  However, it's also only just over a year after my Dad died, so maybe we just didn't notice.  She just seems to look a lot older than what she ever looked in person.  

This is my Mum and I when I got married to Ron (1 October 1995)

This is Mum and Dad, they won a photography session at a dinner.  (1989 or 1990)

Twelve years of missing you, Mum

God, I miss you. Several times a day, I think of things that I would like to tell you about or ask your advice on or just think that I wish you were alive. Even after 12 years it's hard to believe that, in this life, I'll never see you or talk to you again.

The last few weeks have been hard, they usually are, as this day crashes towards me. As I do, I've crawled into my shell for a bit. It shouldn't be so, but I guess it is when I miss you the most maybe because of all those last memories. I've cried a lot and that deep sadness has taken over my heart.

Today has been full of memories of the day you passed away. Being woken up at about 6 am by Ron to tell me that you had 'gone'. You were still warm. I was only sleeping a couple of metres away but I didn't know you were leaving. I think you left then for a reason. You hated people fussing and I think you preferred to be close to us but nobody in your face. I'm not certain, though, so I still feel bad that I just had no idea. I was sleeping on the couch and Ron was on a mattress on the floor behind the couch, he said that he woke up at some stage and we were both snoring in unisom. LOL It was time for you to go, you had had enough of being sick and you were so weak.

It's all so clear now but at the time, I was still hoping so hard that we could get you better. I didn't 'know' you were going to go but if I had looked, the signs were all there on the Sunday. Even though we had all told you it was ok to go if you needed to, I would have kept fighting to get you well. We all would have.

You were my best friend, we had so much fun and many laughs together. You, Dad and I were thick as thieves - it was Dad and my job to make you laugh and we did a pretty good job at it. As you know, you weren't the most understanding person - way too practical and down to earth. But, you had a huge heart and I know you cared deeply.

I don't know if you ever knew how you swelled my heart the day you told me that you were so proud of me because I never let my vision impairment stop me from doing anything. You were driving me to a job interview at Oberon, so I could go and live with John. I was 23. You didn't want me to do what I was doing, but you helped me and you were proud of me. Well, Mum, I hope I am as good a Mum as you because that showed how special you were, among many other instances. You didn't like John one bit and well I should have listened, but you were ok with me doing what I needed to do.

With Ron, you loved him from the start. I reckon you breathed many sighs of relief when you met him. You knew he was perfect for me too. Thank you for welcoming Cathie and Jamie into our family.

I wish Rieley and Kellie had gotten a chance to meet their Oma - oh you would have loved them, just as much as all the other grandchildren. They would have had fun and loved you and Dad too. I point you and Dad out in your picture but I'll wait until they understand a bit more to tell them about their Oma and Opa. I just wish there were some memories for them to go with the picture.

What I miss so much is being able to ring you up and tell you about the kids, I want to brag about little things, like Rieley is doing so well at brushing his teeth by himself now, that Kellie is so cute when she stands at the couch and bounces back and forward from the cushion - she loves it. I have no-one to tell the boring stuff to, the day-to-day trivial things that makes a child's personality their own. No-one to brag about the important things - Kellie got heaps of teeth and Rieley has only wet the bed about 5 times in almost a year of no nappies.

Anyway, I just want my Mummy and I can't have her. My life goes on and generally it's a pretty good one but you and Dad left a great big hole when you each left. One that can never be filled.

I love you Mum.

SHAUN - WHERE ARE YOU

SHAUN - WHERE ARE YOU
Originally uploaded by Cameron Corner

Taken on a recent family holiday to Cowell in SA. The sheep grazing just took my fancy to capture this pic.